


The Letters

by unwrittenbyangela



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 03:06:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10453575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwrittenbyangela/pseuds/unwrittenbyangela
Summary: Please feel free to contact me anytime! You can contact me on here or through my Tumblr page at:https://www.tumblr.com/blog/writtenbycadenMore on this work can be found at:https://www.patreon.com/posts/public-8543795





	1. Letter 1

Warning(s): Cussing

 

You are so beautiful. You know that, right? You are so very beautiful. And even if you looked different, you’d still be beautiful. There is something about your smile, your laugh, your presence. You always had this way of making me feel like I was somewhere safe, like I was home. Even if you didn’t look like you, you’d still be you. I think Juliet said something like that about Romeo. “A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.” Something cheesy like that. 

But even if you didn’t look like you, you’d still be beautiful. I don’t think it’s possible for you to not be beautiful. But I’m sorry. You don’t need to be reading this letter that says nothing but how beautiful you are. How repetitive, right? Let me change the subject.

Today I went shopping. I found some new shoes. I think you’d like them…. Who am I kidding? Haha. Sorry. You wouldn’t give a fuck about how my goddamn shoes look. And I love that about you. I could wear the nicest suit in the world and you’d probably just nod at me. You never cared what I wore…. I really did like that about you. I still do. 

I miss you. 

I promise I won’t make the letter like this; this rambling nothing of a letter that sounds like I’m whining. The whole letter won’t be like this. I just need to get it off my chest, you know? I just need to get it out, that I miss you and that you’re so damn beautiful it still amazes me everyday. And that I love you. I still love you, so very much.

Let’s see. What else can I say? You’re still reading, right? You better still be reading this. I took the time to write it after all. Not that that’s any excuse. It was my decision to write you, it’s not your responsibility to read it. You’d probably say something like that, right? Yeah, you would. Don’t deny it. Haha.

I like this, this writing letters idea. It feels like I’m talking to you, almost. At the very least it feels like I’m texting you or something. The typing is nice. It feels like I might hear from you any second. 

I wonder if you’re sleeping right now. It’s about that time of night. You probably are. I wish I was there. 

What else did I do today… I looked up some new places. Nothing in person, mind you, but a few things over the Internet from here and there. I think you’d hate the country. Haha. The houses are beautiful there though. It seems peaceful. Isolated.

You love the cities though. I know, I know. You love the hustle and bustle of people, despite being quite anti-social mind you. Did you ever wonder that about yourself? It’s funny, how you hate socializing and yet you love being surrounded by people…

Ah. But then you also like the conveniences. I know. I think I know quite a lot of things about you. Or I like to think I do. But then you do these things that surprise me. It’s nice actually, not knowing what you’re always going to do. It’s refreshing. You’re always keeping me surprised. You make me so happy.

Sorry, sorry. I’m doing it again. I keep bringing this conversation up that’s about you. You hate that. I should talk about me instead, right? Or current events. Or some fun facts you haven’t heard yet. Something other than you.

But it’s so hard for me, you understand. I like talking about you. I think about you, so often. You could say I’m always thinking about you. So it’s hard for me to think and talk about things that matter so little. You mean everything to me. 

You know the first time we met, that night in the club, I knew. I mean I didn’t know know, but I knew. There was something different about you. It was kind of like there was a crackle of something on your skin, or in the air, and I knew it was like you were this whole other world that I had never even heard of before.

But you’ve heard all about this. I just… You make me really happy. I just want you to know that, above everything else. 

You’re special. 

Anyway… I think this letter has gone on long enough. I’ll try to have more things to talk about in the next one. Honestly. I’ll even try finding some weird joke or fun fact for next time, just to keep you mildly interested. 

Next time sweetie. 

Night.


	2. Letter 2

Warning(s): Cussing

 

Hey darling. How was your day? 

Haha. Sorry. I had to ask. Like I said, this letter thing feels really cool. It’s like I’m texting you. But I digress.

I've got a joke for you this time babe. So keep reading and you'll come across it. I gotta build the tension first. Make sure to read everything carefully now. You don't want to miss it.

So I went shopping again today. Bought a new tie this time. It’s this deep purple color, silk. The purple is so sexy. It looks really good on me. But also when I saw it I kept thinking about how sexy it’d look on you. Purple was always your color. 

Remember when you wore that purple dress? Haha. You looked so pissed. You were so mad about wearing a dress. You had no idea how sexy you looked. Even with your face all scrunched up, even scowling all night, you looked so elegant. You have this collarbone that just…

Sorry. Next topic.

You know it occurs to me, the way people speak is very much reflected in their writing. With you I just become a blathering fool. But you never minded that. Well, you sort of did I suppose. But even when you’re mad you are still cute so…

I’m feeling a little restless today. I was a bit restless last night too. I apologize. I’m sure it must be irritating for me to come off this scatter brained. You know how I usually am. I am usually much more suave than this. 

I just chuckled a bit. In the past I might have said, “Any man that says they are usually suave probably never was in the first place.”

There’s just something about you that makes me feel like I can be myself. Because you know even when you’re mad at me, you’re never really mad at me. Even when we argue you never made me feel like you hated me. That meant a lot to me. You know, I’ve never let anyone scold me the way I let you; somehow you mange to make it feel like a loving thing. How, I have no idea. 

What was I talking about earlier? Oh right. Tie. I bought a new tie. I also bought a new wristwatch. I ate food today. Fuck. Haha. I can’t remember what it was that I ate… Probably a sandwich. It’s funny but I think it’s so easy for people to forget things, especially little things. You know we eat three meals a day, or we’re supposed to, and yet I wonder how many people can actually remember what they ate for the past week. It’s important too. What goes in our body and blah blah blah…

I’m not going to lie. I don’t fucking care enough about my body to care about my food. I exercise. I still have abs. I’m good. At least for the next few years. Probably. 

I’ll worry about it when it comes to it, I suppose. Or hey, all you have to do is tell me to stay healthy and I’ll take that shit to heart. I’ll make sure I’ve got abs and can lift you over my shoulder for as long as you want. You just need to motivate me a bit babe and I’ll do it. 

I’ll do just about anything for you.

Oh! Guess what? Okay. Get this. I signed up for a cooking class. A fucking cooking class! I know, right? Me? Cooking? And after just saying how I didn’t give a fuck about my food. But it’s not about me. It’s cause I know how much you like home cooked meals. We didn’t get to do that enough. That was my fault. I apologize. I liked taking you out to eat though. Those were really good memories. And I could afford it, can afford it, so I figured it was all I could do.

But then it occurred to me, I really wasn’t trying enough to meet your needs. After all, if I want us to be happy then I have to make you happy too. It can’t just be about me. And you do so much for me. 

So I signed up for a cooking class and I’m going to try to learn to cook. Hopefully I’ll pick up on it quickly. I’d like to impress you. And I usually pick up on things quickly. I can’t imagine this will be too difficult.

How is work going by the way? Last I heard you’d been working overtime. You know you should take it easy. I know you hate hearing this from me, but you can’t push yourself. You’re not good at seeing your limits so I’m warning you now. 

At the very least get some good sleep. And eat something other than fast food. Seriously. I may not be there to cook for you right now but that doesn’t give you the excuse to eat junk food all the time, or nothing at all. You’re already too skinny.

Maybe me learning to cook will be a good thing all around. Maybe I can fatten you up a bit… No? Okay. I can practically see your face if I was to say that to you in person. I know, I know. Stupid statement. My bad.

You know I think you’re perfect the way you are. I just want you to be healthy. Healthy and happy. It’s a good goal, right?

Alright. So it’s settled. I’m going to learn how to cook, and you better not work yourself to death. 

Oh shoot. Before I forget, I’ve got that joke to tell you. 

insert joke here

Talk to you again soon.

Night.


	3. Letter 3

Warning(s): Cussing

 

So tonight was real pretty, wasn’t it? The weather was just right. Didn’t even need a jacket. You should wear jackets at night though. Please. Wear jackets from now on.

There is this new movie coming out this weekend. You know, the one with blonde girl. I can’t remember her fucking name. You know the one I’m talking about though. Anyway, it’s coming out this weekend. Wasn’t sure if you were interested in that one. I know you don’t like most American movies, but I know you like that actress. You love claiming she is one of the few actresses with actual acting talent. Haha.

That book you want is coming out soon too, right? In like, three months now? Or is it two months? I hope it’s good. I hope you don’t burn through it in a day, like you sometimes do. You know it takes them months, if not years to write that stuff and then you just absorb it within a day. 

I played the piano a bit today. Practice, you know? I hope I get to play for you again soon. I wrote something new. It’s not much, but it’s… I don’t know, actually. It’s something though. 

When you hear it you’ll let me know if it’s any good, right? You always give it to me straight. Love that about you. No bullshit, not an ounce of it in you.

Maybe I’ll record it, the new song. It won’t be as good though. It won’t be as good as if I were to play it for you live. So I kind of don’t want to record it for you and send it to you. For now we’ll just have the letters. 

Actually… I do sort of have a surprise for you. I did buy something for you today. But I won’t tell you what it is. It should be delivered tomorrow. I hope you like it. 

Guess I should get to bed now. I start my cooking class tomorrow. That’ll be fun. Hey, could you pick up on that sarcasm? Haha. I’m just kidding. I’m not particularly happy about learning to cook, but if it’s for you then I’ll do it happily.

Sometimes I wonder if you can pick up on my tone well enough just through these letters. Maybe it’d be better if I wrote them by hand. Then, at least, you could see my handwriting. Maybe it’d be a little more personal, somehow, in a way that technology and printed typed words just can’t convey. But then, I think that I’m not able to write nearly as quickly as I can type. And that means I won’t be able to say nearly as many things to you as I’d like. By the time I’d get it down I’d be on a whole other train of thought.

So I’ll have to settle for typing. It’s okay though. Maybe I’ll get to hear from you soon. I’d like to hear your voice. Let me know when that will be possible. I’ll work with your schedule. 

Thinking of you sweetie.

Night.


	4. Letter 4

Warning(s): Cussing

 

So cooking… The good news is I didn’t burn anything down. No but seriously, I tried really hard not to burn things down. It was difficult too, because nearly everyone in there irritates the shit out of me. I almost forgot why I don’t like people. 

The teacher is this guy, he’s going bald, and he clearly should still be in France. His accent is terrible. And it’s obvious he’s got this crush on this girl next to me. But the girl kept making goo goo eyes at me. So of course the teacher kept giving me this look like…

And by the way, I am not making this up. I bet you’re thinking I’m making some stuff up about a girl to get your attention, but I’m not. You know I’m not. I’m a fine ass thing, and the ladies still love me. Not that it matters. We both know I’m not interested in them. But I digress. 

The girl next to me, she keeps bumping into me on purpose, just to get my attention. Problem is she keeps bumping into my elbow and it fucks me up. You’d never know it, but people get thrown off balance too easily when you’re cooking and then shit goes everywhere.

Other than that the class was survivable. I picked up a few things. As it turns out, smell is very important in cooking. Which is good. I like to think I have a decent sense of smell. Soon I shall master the art of cooking and wow you with my impressive skills. Give me a week or two, tops, and I’ll be making dishes like the most experienced chef. 

What should the first meal I make for you be? I’m open to suggestions. Or I can surprise you. Whatever you want. 

Can’t wait to see you smile at me again. You have the most beautiful smile in the world. It warms me up, you know? In my chest, and then it spreads to my arms and legs and… Well, let’s just say everywhere. 

You know, it occurs to me, it’s kind of like you’re my muse; you inspire me. You’re like this spark of color that just… brightens up my world. 

I miss you. 

I hope you sleep well tonight. I hope you got my present.

Love you.

Night.


	5. Letter 5

Warning(s): Cussing, dark theme

 

You didn’t like the present? 

Sorry. I thought… Fuck. I’m sorry. 

I don’t apologize to anyone but you, you know? It’s humiliating. 

Let me know… Let me know what you want. I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it. I’ll get you whatever you want just… I need you to tell me what you want.

I think I know what you want but then I realize that’s just… I don’t know. I don’t know what you want. But I want to know. I hope we get to that point where I can understand you well enough to… well, to understand you.

Maybe you were just having a bad day. I’d like to believe that. You were having a rough day and it wasn’t anything I did.

You know I don’t want to upset you. That’s the last thing I want. 

I was thinking about you again today. It’s weird but it’s like, you never really leave my mind. Like you’re right there, in the back on my eyelids. So even when I close my eyes, you’re there. I see your image. But you’re not here. And sometimes I can feel your skin under my fingertips again, gently, and it feels so real.

Your skin is so soft. I love your fucking skin. It’s like you glow at night. I keep picturing you: in the bed with me, lying on the couch with me, in the shower with me. I can almost smell you, almost feel you.

Almost.

It makes me feel so lonely, being away from you. I’ve never felt so lonely in my life. Even as a child, growing up with parents that were never around and being surrounded by people that wanted to use me, I’ve never felt as lonely as I do now. 

I think being popular, being wealthy, being good-looking ruined me. I really do. I’ve always been surrounded by people. The wrong people. They always wanted something from me: my money or my body. You were the first one that didn’t want anything from me. You never asked a damn thing of me. You never imposed yourself on me, or imposed some vision you thought of me on me. Did that make any sense? You know what I mean, right? 

You never thought I was something I wasn’t. You didn’t treat me like someone you wanted me to be. You just saw me for who I was. It was… I can’t explain it. It was, kind of like waking up from sleeping. There was something about it that was startling, but also… important? Worthwhile? Something like that. I can’t find the words. 

Being with you made me feel awake, alive. And then being away from you quickly became worse than being with you. Even now it’s hard, nearly impossible. But I manage. I manage…

It’s hard you know. Because the very thing I love about you, that you don’t want anything from me, has made it nearly impossible for me to appeal to you. You don’t care about how I look, so I can’t seduce you. You don’t care about my money, so buying you things does no good. I don’t know how to make you love me. I don’t know how to convey these feelings that I’ve never had before. It makes me feel very helpless, powerless even, to know that I can’t sway you the way I can others. While I love your ability to see beyond my surface, it also terrifies me. Because I know that beneath my surface, there is very little of anything good. 

But I am willing to try to change. I am willing to do what it takes to change your mind. It’s worth it. You are worth it. The way you make me feel is very worth it.

So I’ll try harder next time. Okay? Next present is going to be a great one. It won’t be boring and predictable like this last one. What was I thinking? Haha. 

Missing you babe. 

Night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to contact me anytime! You can contact me on here or through my Tumblr page at:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/writtenbycaden
> 
> More on this work can be found at:  
> https://www.patreon.com/posts/public-8543795


End file.
